Saturday, March 9, 2013

Toxic Heart

       I read a book recently called  "Red Badge of Courage” by Stephen Crane.  It was about a young man, named Henry, who enlisted for war and the journey he took in becoming a man.  At the beginning of the story he is very naïve to war and its devastation.  At one point he even retreats leaving his comrades on their own to defend their honor. 

I noticed as the story continued that Henry’s heart started to change.  It hardened.  It filled with anger and rage.  It seemed poisoned by its surroundings and circumstances.  It became so toxic that others started to notice.  “Are you okay, Henry?”  One of his closest friends was concerned.  When Henry retreated, it wasn’t just a physical event.  He retreated in his heart as well.  The guilt overwhelmed him.  Roots were growing inside of him.  Roots of resentment, anger, un-forgiveness, and hatred were taking over his heart and making it toxic.

Have you ever met someone with a toxic heart?  The circumstances or surroundings of their life had poisoned them.  Bad things happen, unfortunate events sweep in and shake us to the core of our being, and things happen that are beyond our control.  Life is messy and unpredictable.  But in the midst of the chaos, we have a choice.  We can keep moving forward or retreat.  The choice is ours.  When we begin to retreat we open the door up for our hearts to become polluted and filled with toxin.

Toxic can be defined as…

Poisonous, harmful or deadly, capable of causing injury or death

In reading the definition of toxic, we see that long term this can be deadly and it’s dangerous to allow the fruit of a toxic heart to linger in our lives.  It’s got to go!

A toxic heart can be recognized by the words that come out of its mouth.  Henry had a religious background.  His mom had strong convictions.  It says in the book that,She had had certain ways of expression that told him that her statements on the subject came from deep conviction” (Ch. 1).  She also said after he enlisted, “The Lord’s will be done, Henry” (Ch. 1).  He was raised in a home where certain values and principles were held tightly and expressed freely.

Henry had to recognize what was in him as he spoke from a toxic heart.  How could he miss the changes occurring on the outside of him? Some times living too close to the problem can blind us to the truth. 

I have heard a scripture in the Bible before that helps clarify this point.
Luke 6:45 says “…for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (NIV)

What comes out of our mouths helps others see what is in our hearts! Interesting… I don’t know about you, but I have good and bad days when it comes to what comes out of my mouth.  I don’t know that this scripture is speaking of our off days, but what is deep down inside of us on a daily basis.  It’s what is at the core of who we are.

I am honest enough to say I have suffered from a toxic heart before.  I have allowed offenses by others and the circumstances of life to pollute my heart.  It consumed me, polluted my speech, and changed my personality.  Poison spewed from my mouth as I spoke splattering on those around me.  I was becoming the very thing I detested.  It was only with God’s help that I was able to be free. 

I have a question for you.  It’s a personal one.  Do you have any destructive roots growing in your heart?  Could your heart be toxic?  What is the flavor of your conversation when you speak?  Is it sweet or sour?   Living with a toxic heart is dangerous.  I encourage you to ask a friend or family member today if they have noticed any changes in you lately.  The ability to be free from this is entirely up to you.  I dare you to choose freedom today!

Living to leave a legacy,



  1. Julie, I agree that God grants true freedom! (I got saved when I was 10) I have many times had toxcity growing in my heart, as I am human. It really brings one down and tears at the soul. It is a miserable existence to live with a toxic heart. I really enjoyed your post!

    1. Thanks Judy for reading! I have known SO many people over the years that have allowed their hearts to STAY toxic. It is really sad when they have the opportunity to really be free. All those roots growing inside of them become bondage and they end up becoming the very person they despise. So sad. I never want to go back to that place. You are right. It is a miserable existence. Thanks for commenting and sharing.

  2. Julie I really enjoyed your post. I have been thinking alot about the poison in my own life lately. My poison is bitterness and unforgiveness which is totally toxic! I have learned that this only has power if I give into it. It can be very destructive if not dealt with. So whenever it creeps into my mind I try to quickly get rid of it through my trust in the Lord that these feelings are evil and do not produce anything good.

    1. Thanks SO much for sharing Toni. I'm glad you enjoyed the post. I wrote from a heart experienced with the affects of toxicity. I appreciate your transparency. It helps everyone reading know we are all human and definitely not included. I've learned that my struggles when given to God make me better in the end. Thanks again for sharing.