Have you ever said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, or simply made
choices that others disagreed with? My intentions are never to offend others,
but it happens. Sometimes we can offend without even realizing it and other
times it is obvious to everyone.Have careless words or actions from others ever wounded your heart? Maybe it was words spoken by a spouse, friend, sibling, parent, or an authority figure. It seems like those closest to us can leave the deepest wounds in our hearts.
What did you do with that
offense? Did you stew over it, hold on
to it for safe keeping, give the cold shoulder and avoid that person, or let it
go?
Holding
on to an offense, only hurts YOU in the end. It will grow and fester like an infected
wound. It will cause you to become a bitter, angry person who looks nothing
like the person who first faced that offense in the beginning.
I read the
short story “Barn Burning,” by William Faulkner, recently and it was
eye-opening. It is a perfect example of
what happens when we allow offenses to grow and accumulate inside of our
hearts. The results can be catastrophic. The father in this story, Abner consistently dragged
his family from town to town. His anger
and violent actions towards his offenders caused trouble everywhere he went. However, he wasn’t ever prosecuted for his
actions because there was never enough evidence. Why would anyone want to put
their family through such persecution and scrutiny from the people around
them? Their name became dirty and their
reputation marred everywhere they went.
This is not the idea of the perfect family… that is for sure.
I have
learned over the years that offended
people, offend people. A habitual
offender is someone who continues to offend others over and over again. This is offense full grown in someone’s
heart. Obviously somewhere
along the way Abner got offended and allowed that offense to hang around and
sink roots deep within his heart. He may
have been offended with the government, his country, authorities over him in
the military, his parents, friends, etc… We don’t know who or what, but
somewhere along the way, offense attached itself to his life and he was never
the same. Offense left inside unchecked
changes people.
We need to
guard our hearts from offense. It can grow
inside of us just like weeds in a garden. If left untended, things can get out
of control inside and out.
We need to check our hearts daily!
Watch for
warning signs of a sick or infected heart by offense. Watch words, actions, and thoughts. Be on high alert when you know you are
offended or close to offense.
Choose the high road!
When you
feel you might be offended, you have a choice.
Choose to give the benefit of the doubt or stew and become bitter.
Instead of thinking of the worst possible scenario when it comes to others, choose
to give grace. Be known as a grace
giver! Learn to let some things go, overlook others, and give grace whenever
possible. Forgive quickly and
easily.
Don’t
allow any roots of bitterness, anger, or resentment to grow in your
hearts. It’s not worth risking the
security of your heart, just forgive.
Forgiveness is a process and depending on the offense, it may take
time. Do what you can to keep your heart
free from any offense.
Where are
you when it comes to offense? Is your
heart sick? Are you the offender or the
offended? Do you need to learn to give
grace? Guard your heart from offense… YOU
are worth it!
Living to
leave a legacy,
Julie